Planet of the Apes

Well seeing as I just reviewed a science fiction movie I might as well review another. This is my review of Planet of the Apes. I forgot today was Friday (again) so there won't be a cartoon today, sorry. It i s based on a book of the same name by Pierre Boulle. I can't say anything about the book as I haven't read it. But enough monkey business; let's start the review....did I just say "enough monkey business"?

We open in space where we see an astronaut named Taylor (Charton Heston) who is going into some weird preserving pod to sleep. Later the ship crashes on an unknown planet and they find out that the pods kept Taylor and the other astronauts Landon (Robert Gunner) and Dodge (Jeff Burton) alive for thousands of years. But there was an air leak in one of the pods that killed an astronaut named Stewart (Dianne Stanley). The ship starts to sink and they escape before its too late. So they have no idea what planet they are on only that they are in a desert on another planet and they are about 20,000 years into the future. They find a field full of people but they seem to be mute and are as intelligent as stone aged humans. But then people chase them and the other people through the field. The people chasing them are actually apes. The apes shoot Dodge, and Landon is captured along with Taylor but Taylor's throat is damaged and he is unable to talk.

The Ape Counsel

Taylor is being held at a research center where an ape scientist named Dr. Zira (Kim Hunter) names Taylor Bright Eyes and notices how he is trying to talk to her. Zira tries to show it to a higher ranking scientist named Dr. Zaius but Zaius dismisses Taylor saying that he is merely copying Zira. A female human named Nova (Linda Harrison) is transferred to Taylor's cage which gives him someone to spend time with other than gorillas who spray him with hoses. One day Taylor steals Ziras note pad and writes down "My name is Taylor".  Zira takes him to her house and shows him to her fiance Cornelius (Roddy McDowall). Taylor tells them about how he came from another planet and Cornelius says that he could be the missing link between apes and humans. Dr. Zaius finds out about Taylor and ups security around Taylor. One day Taylor decides to escape but is captured, and he regains his ability to talk which just makes the apes more suspicious. Taylor is put on trial with Zira and Cornelius defending him and Zaius and the ape council wanting to punish him. But the ape counsel tampers with the evidence and makes some stuff up to make Taylor lose. So Taylor is still being held at the research center.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

Zira's nephew Lucius (Lou Wagner) helps Taylor and Nova break out and make it to Zira and Cornelius. They flee to where Cornelius was doing research on humans to prove to Dr. Zaius that humans should be treated with respect. But a group of apes lead by Zaius attacks them and Taylor convinces Zaius to come with him to the cave to find out the truth. They find the remains of a human house which of course enrages Zaius but before Zaius says anything his men attack Lucius but Taylor and his group take Zaius hostage. Taylor tells Lucius to tell Zaius' men to give him a horse and enough food and water for him and Nova.  So Zaius gives him what he wants but not before warning him that he may not like what he finds. So Taylor and Nova ride away and days later they find out the truth. They find the remains of the Statue of Liberty which means that he was on earth the whole time and that the apes took it over. Now I do have to admit that that was probably the best twist ending ever. Too bad that every TV show, movie, and comic gives it away....oh well. The End.

****SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

Planet of the Apes is one of the best sci fi movies ever. Taylor is a very smart and likable hero and the story is very original. Dr. Zaius is also a one of the best sci fi villains ever. I also like the make up effects for the apes they are very convincing most of the time. But like I said most of the time sometimes the lip movements don't match up. But honestly that is really the only problem I can think of. So this is a great stand alone sci fi movie and I hope you....whats that Waylon...they made sequels.....oh no.

Disneys 20000 Leagues Under the Sea

Hi I am back and I thought a good way to follow up a week of Ninja Turtles is with giant squids. Yes I am reviewing 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. It is based on a Jules Verne book of the same name and I haven't actually read it but I hear good things about it. So let's start my review of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

The year is 1868 and reports are coming in about a sea monster attacking ships. A French professor named Pierre Aronnax (Paul Lukas) and his assistant Consiel (Peter Lorre) come into a port near where some of the ships are being attacked. They get a deal to travel on a harpooning boat to make it to their destination. But people on the ship are suspicious of the monster. On the way there they find a wrecked ship and the monster comes after them and the professor, Consiel and a harpooner from the ship named Ned Land (Kirk Douglas) are adrift at sea. They come across a submarine that seems to be abandoned and they look inside. But it turns out that it isn't abandoned; it belongs to a man named Captain Nemo (James Mason). He attempts to drown them but they survive and he invites them abroad as prisoners/guests I'm not sure which. After a seafood dinner Nemo says that they will be stopping to hunt and farm very soon. They go to the farming/hunting spot and I have to admit the underwater shots are amazing and do make you think about how much work went into this movie.


While on the expedition Ned and Consiel run into a sunken ship with a treasure chest. They are attacked by a shark but Nemo pulls them out of it. He then scolds them for wanting to steal treasure. Ned isn't happy and wants to steal from Nemo's personal stash of treasure and escape. Meanwhile the professor is taking a liking to living on the submarine. Nemo takes Pierre ashore and shows him a slave camp that he used to be part of but him and the crew of his ship escaped and dedicated the rest of their lives to destroying ships from that camp. Consiel and Ned come up with a plan to escape by putting letters into bottles and sending them out to sea. Nemo gives Ned and Consiel the chance to go ashore and they accept the offer. On the island Ned tries to escape but is chased back by the natives of island who are cannibals. But Nemo drives them away with an electric machine. But just when they think there in the clear a warship attacks them creating a hole in the submarine.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

They dive deep into the sea to avoid the warship but the power goes out and are sinking deeper. But they mange to fix it and just when they think they are safe a giant squid attacks them out of the blue (literally).  The squid almost kills Nemo but Ned saves him. Ned regrets this and goes to his room. Consiel tells Ned that the submarine is going to Nemo's island because he needs to pick something up. The island is surrounded by warships but they make it to the island and Nemo sets something up on the island that he reveals is a bomb. He also says he was shot and is dying  and the ship is sinking. So he orders everyone to go back to their rooms. But the professor Consiel and Ned escape from the submarine as they watch the ship sink. The End

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

I like this movie. The effects and sets are very complex and amazing and all the characters are given a lot of development. All of the actors give great performances especially James Mason as Captain Nemo. The only thing I didn't like is there are very silly Disney moments that do feel a bit out of place with the tone of the rest of the movie. Like Nemo has a pet seal named Esmeralda and Ned has musical number. But I still like this movie and I do recommend it. See you next time.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT for short) that sounds...weird. It was based on a children's cartoon from the 80's about mutated crime fighting turtles. Now I have only seen a few episodes of the show, but I have seen the reboot of the show from 2003. I also saw a crossover with both turtles so I think I'm qualified. Oh by the way I am not reviewing the new reboot the turtles look really creepy. But that isn't important; time to start the review.

The movie starts with a reporter named April O'Neil (Judith Hoag) reporting on a thieving crime spree. After she leaves work she is ambushed by some thugs. But they are defeated by unseen people. The people are actually turtles, ninja turtles named Leonardo (David Foreman/Brian Tochi) Donatello (Leif Tilden/Corey Feldman) Raphael (Josh Paris) and Michelangelo (Micheelan Sisti/Robbie Rist). They go to their master, a rat named Splinter (Kevin Clash). But Raphael is mad because he lost one of his weapons in the fight so he goes out and stops some thieves. But he runs into a vigilante named Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) and they get in a fight. Meanwhile April investigates the crimes and finds rumors of a clan of thieves called The Foot. Meanwhile her boss' son Danny (Michael Turney) is having trouble with the law. Later on the subway some ninjas try to silence April but the Turtles come to her rescue. They take her to their home and explain their story.

Splinter was a normal sewer rat but one day he found four baby turtles in a puddle of radioactive ooze so he takes them in. soon they all become bigger stronger and more intelligent. So the turtles go over to April's apartment to get some pizza and Splinter stays at home. When they come home the house is destroyed and Splinter is gone. So they have to live in April's house until they can find Splinter. Meanwhile we see The Foot  where Danny now lives. We also see its leader The Shredder (James Saito) The Shredder puts out an order to kill the Ninja Turtles. So they go to April's apartment and attack them. They mange to escape with the help of Casey. They make it to a house in the country where they all rest and get ready to take down The Foot.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

They go back to their home. But Danny is in the house because he left The Foot after talking to Splinter who is being held by The Foot. So they spend the night in the sewer but Danny decides to sneak out and try to free Splinter but Casey follows him. So Casey convinces The Foot's henchmen to leave the foot and Danny frees Splinter. So it is time for the final showdown Turtles vs Shredder but the turtles are losing. Fortunately Splinter comes and they have a showdown which leads to the epic climax of...Splinter knocking Shredder over into a garbage truck...well...that was anticlimactic. So I guess the movie is over...no really it just end there with some 1990's catchphrase. The End.

 ***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is...well let me explain. The effects are actually really convincing and I do believe that the turtles are really alive. I also like the lesson about being a family (either that or I am seeing into this way too much). On the other hand Shredder isn't too scary and the constant 90's catchphrases get annoying. Not to mention it has one of the biggest anticlimaxes ever. So I guess if you can see past the bad stuff you could like it and hey it looks like a masterpiece compared to the sequels. So decide for yourself if it's worth renting. See you next time.

BEHOLD DIMENSION X (IT'S NOT AS COOL AS YOU THINK)

The Muppet Movie

Oh boy more Muppets. If you haven't guessed, I am huge fan of The Muppets. So I will review the first feature film that The Muppets made. So time to start my review of The Muppet Movie.









The movie starts with The Muppets going to see a movie which is actually The Muppet Movie. So they start the movie and we watch it too. We open with Kermit (Jim Henson) singing "The Rainbow Connection". A Hollywood agent (Dom DeLuise) hears him and say he has talent and gives him an ad saying it wants frogs to try out for movies. So Kermit goes to a nearby town and goes to a bar called El Sleezo. Inside the bar he meets Fozzie Bear (Frank Oz) who works as a comedian at the bar. Fozzie makes the crowd angry, so Kermit does a dance routine to make them happy but it doesn't work. So after escaping from the bar, Kermit tells Fozzie about going to Hollywood. So Fozzie decides to come with him, but before they get too far they are stopped by a man. The man introduces himself as Doc Hopper (Charles Durning) and his sidekick Max (Austin Pendleton.) Hopper wants Kermit to be the mascot for his franchise of frog leg restaurants. But Kermit refuses and leaves, but Doc Hopper says he will find him.

So after singing "Moving Right Along" they stop the car at a church. In the church is the band The Electric Mayhem. Kermit and Fozzie tell them everything. So they disguise Fozzie's car with paint and bubbles. So they say goodbye to Electric Mayhem and head on their way. Kermit and Fozzie crash into a plumbing truck owned by The Great Gonzo (Dave Goelz). They take Gonzo with them and stop by a car dealership to trade-in their car. They talk to a man named Mad Man Mooney (Milton Berle) and his assistant Sweetums (Richar Hunt). Sweetums accidentally uses a fly to make the car cheaper (don't ask) so they buy the car. So they leave, but they forget to take Sweetums with them, so he spends the rest of the movie chasing them. They stop at a carnival next. At the carnival the watch a beauty contest and the winner is Miss. Piggy (also Frank Oz). Miss. Piggy falls in love with Kermit and when Kermit tells her they are going to Hollywood she runs off to go pack. Thinking that Miss. Piggy left, Kermit and Fozzie go to buy ice cream from Bob Hope. Gonzo buys some balloons, but he buys so many and they are so light that he starts to fly away. They chase Gonzo and so does Doc Hopper, but Kermit gets Gonzo gets back in the car. Later they stop in a town and Kermit and Miss. Piggy go to dinner. At dinner they are served by a sarcastic Steve Martin. Miss. Piggy gets a phone call and leaves Kermit. Rowlf (also Jim Henson) is a piano player at the diner so they sing a song together, but then Kermit gets a phone call saying that Doc Hopper kidnapped Miss. Piggy. But Kermit stops Doc Hopper, Max, and Mad Scientist Mel Brooks from kidnaping Miss. Piggy. Miss. Piggy gets another phone call and leaves.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

Rowlf comes with them to Hollywood and they run into Miss. Piggy on the side of the road and let her in. But the car runs out of gas and they stop in the desert. But The Electric Mayhem find them and take them to Hollywood. But before they get there, Max pulls them over disguised as a police officer. Max says Hopper is crazy and that they need to stop him. So they decide to face him in the nearby abandoned western town. In the town they meet Dr. Bunson Honeydew (Also Dave Goelz) and Beaker (also Richard Hunt); they show Kermit some temporary growth pills. But then Hopper and his men come into town. But Kermit tries to talk to Hopper and tell him what he is doing is wrong. But Hopper still wants to kill Kermit, but fortunately Animal (also Frank Oz) eats all the growth pills and scares Hopper away. So they all make it to Hollywood and Orson Welles gives them a contract and we end with a reprise of "The Rainbow Connection". The End

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

The Muppet Movie in my opinion is the best of the Muppets. I really like the heartwarming moral and the memorable songs (Except for Miss. Piggy's solo, but that was supposed to be silly). All the Muppets are just the way you remembered them, and honestly there are very few thing I dislike about this movie. I also like its sense of humor and all the crazy cameos. But I will say some times the jokes aren't that great and Doc Hopper is too much of the evil business man stereotype. But still this is one of those movies everyone will enjoy. See you in the near future.

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

I think will review a western because....I really like westerns. The more I think about it, I don't really need an excuse. So I will review The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Let's get started.

We open with a man named senator Ransom Stoddard (Jimmy Stewart) and his wife Hallie (Vere Miles) going into a small western town known as Shinbone. But being a senator, the press chases him down and asks him why he's in Shinbone. All he says is that he is attending a funeral for a man named Tom Doniphon (John Wayne), after saying that, he leaves. When he gets to the right place where Tom's coffin is. The press catches up to him and asks him about who Tom Doniphon was. So Ransom tells them his story. He was just a Lawyer going out west too seek his fortune. But he is attacked by a group of bandits led by a man named Liberty Valance (Lee Marvin). Liberty Valance beats up Ransom and leaves him for dead. But Tom saves him and takes him to the house/saloon of Hallie. When Ransom comes to, he talks about how he wants someone to arrest Liberty Valance. But Tom laughs at him and says that he should just shoot him. Ransome decides to thank Hallie by working at the saloon she works at.

While working at the saloon Liberty Valance comes in and trips Ransom as he is taking food to a table. This causes Tom to get in a fight with him and Valance to leave. So after that Ransom opens up a school in the newspaper office with the help of the slightly drunk newspaper writer Mr. Peabody (Edmond O'Brien). After school is dismissed Ransom goes to Tom's house to train in using a gun just in case. Later there is a town meeting about the western territory they live in becoming a state in the United States. Liberty Valance, Mr. Peabody and Ransom are all nominated as representatives but only Mr. Peabody and Ransom are chosen. This makes Valance so angry he destroys some chairs and tells Ransom that he is going to kill him. That night Mr. Peabody is nervous about being a representative so he does the logical thing and gets drunk...wait what? So after he gets drunk he goes back to his office where he is attacked by Liberty Valance and his goons. They leave him and go to a saloon to celebrate. After that Ransom challenges Valance to a duel. Valance shoots Ransom in his arm but Ransom shoots Valance and kills him.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

I love this shot

Hallie is concerned about Ransom's arm but Tom thinks Hallie is in love with Ransom. So Tom gets drunk and when he gets to his house he burns it down but he survives and sets the horses free. We cut to the convention for statehood and one of the representatives of the other side criticizes Ransom for being a murderer. This causes Ransom to leave the room. But Tom catches up to him and says that he is the one who shot Liberty Valance. He explains that Ransom's bullet missed Valance and Tom hit him from the shadows. This makes Ransom feel better and he goes back to the convention. So Ransom concludes his story of who Tom was and of how he became a senator. But the press decides not to print the story because as the editor speaking with Ransom says, "When legend becomes fact, print the legend". So the movie ends with Hallie and Ransom leaving on a train. The End.

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is one of those John Ford westerns that are just so good. Lee Marvin's performance as Liberty Valance is probably one of the best western villains I have ever seen. Jimmy Stewart does a good job as the nervous lawyer and John Wayne does a good job as the tough rancher as well. I also think a lot of the side characters are really well developed and funny. The only problem I have is that it is bit obvious that John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart are too old to play the characters and the politics might get a bit confusing for some people. But other than that this is one of the best John Ford/John Wayne movies I have seen. See you next time when I review The Muppet Movie.

 (INSERT SILLY CAPTION HERE) (SERIOUSLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY)

Brave

You know what? I just realized that I never reviewed a Pixar movie. So here I go with my first review of a Pixar movie. But which one...I know, Brave. Time to get started with my review of Brave.










The movie starts with a little girl named Merida (Kelly MacDonald) and her mother Elinor (Emma Thompson) playing. Merida's father Fergus (Billy Connolly) gives her a bow as a present. But before she has a chance to enjoy it a demonic bear named Mordu (stock animal sound effects) attacks. Merida and her mother escape but her father stays behind to fight the bear. Surprisingly her father survives the demonic bear attack and all he loses is his pride...and one of his legs. We cut to years later where Merida is older and now has three little trouble-making brothers. Elinor prepares Merida for becoming queen and for the three suitors that are coming. The only problem is she doesn't want to get married. She enjoys horseback riding and archery instead. So when the suitors arrive and try to prove themselves, she runs away. While running she comes across a strange cabin and goes inside. Inside she meets a wood carver (Julie Walters) who makes carvings and novelties themed around bears. Merida figures out that she is actually a witch. The witch attempts to kill Merida at first but when she finds out that she will buy all the carvings in the store along with a spell, the witch agrees to help.

She gives Merida a spell to use on her mother. She goes back to the castle where Fergus is keeping everyone entertained. Merida gives her mother the spell (which is disguised as a cake) which causes her to fall ill. But instead of changing her mind about the marriage she just turns into a bear. Merida remembers that her father kind of has a deep hate for bears after Mordu ate his leg, so she decides to get her mother out of the castle. Merida finds the witch's hut but the witch is gone. However she left a note saying that the bear transformation will become permanent after two days. She also gives Merida some very cryptic sounding information on how to fix it (I won't tell you what she said; I don't want to spoil too much). So they go to rest for the night and when they wake up Merida teaches Elinor to go fishing. After fishing Elinor becomes a bear fully but she quickly returns to normal. This makes Merida realize that she has to do something.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

So they find some ruins that belong to an old kingdom that fell. Inside they find out that the way to turn Elinor back to normal is to fix a tapestry that Merida tore at the beginning of the movie. She also finds out that one of the princes of the kingdom is Mordu. So Merida and Elinor make it too the castle. But the suitors and Fergus are at each-others throats. So Merida calms them down and they make it to the room with the tapestry. But Fergus sees Elinor and thinks she is a bear and tries to kill her. But in the end the tapestry is fixed, Elinor defeats Mordu, and Elinor becomes a human again. The End.

****SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING****

Brave is a pretty good movie. I like the relationship between Merida and her mother. The animation is good too: I especially love the wildernesses that it creates. But I do feel that the story borrows from some Disney movies, specifically Brother Bear. But I can over look that. I think that Brave is a good fantasy movie that everyone will enjoy.