The Land Before Time

What's more adorable than baby dinosaurs? A lot of things but for the purposes of this review let's say they're the most adorable thing ever. So since dinosaurs are  so cute I will review The Land Before Time. It is directed by the man who brought you The Secret of NIMH, seeing as I liked that movie this should be good. So let's get started with The Land Before Time.

The movie starts with a narrator (Pat Hingle) telling us that a lot of dinosaurs are migrating to somewhere called the great valley to find more food. There's a family of Brontosauruses (that's what you call them right?), a mother (Helen Shaver), two grandparents, and a little kid dinosaur named Littlefoot (Gabriel Damon). But one day there is a horrible earthquake and if things can't get worse a T-Rex named Sharptooth (Frank Welker) decides to attack everyone. Littlefoot's mother tries to defend Littlefoot but Sharptooth kills Littlefoot's mother. Fortunately the earthquake makes Sharptooth fall into a giant pit. But Littlefoot's mother tells Littlefoot to find the great valley. So he walks to the great valley. On his way he runs into a Triceratops named Cera (Candace Hutson). Little foot asks Cera if she wants to come with him but Cera says she can take care of herself and goes away.

Littlefoot keeps walking and runs into a duck billed dino (I don't know the scientific name) named Ducky (Judith Barsi), a Pterodactyl who can't fly named Petrie (Will Ryan), and a baby Stegosaurus named Spike (also Frank Welker). Our dinosaur friends rest for the night. But before they rest too much Cera runs up to them and tells them that Sharptooth is still alive. Littlefoot doesn't believe Cera so they keep moving. But it turns out Cera was right and Sharptooth followed them so they have to make a run for it. They narrowly escape Sharptooth and they find what looks like the great valley. Sadly it isn't because as soon as they get there a bunch of other dinosaurs come in and eat all the food. Our heroes grab what is left of the food an keep going.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

They keep walking to the great valley but Cera decides to turn back and she also convinces Spike, Ducky, and Petrie. So Littlefoot keeps going by himself. Cera and the other dinosaurs get turned back by Sharptooth. Littlefoot comes up with a plan to stop Sharptooth. They decide to drop a rock on his head while he is in the water because Sharptooth can't swim and they will use Ducky as bait. The plan ends up working and they make it to the great valley where Littlefoot's grandparents are and all the dinosaurs are reunited with their family. The End. Well almost the end because there are 13 sequels, a few video games, some books, and a TV show. I hate it when this happens to a good movie.

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

The Land before time is a very good movie. The animation is very beautiful and the characters are very funny and have a lot of development. Sharptooth is actually a very intimidating villain. As I said in the beginning the dinosaurs are very adorable, especially Ducky and Petrie. I do admit there are a few historical inaccuracies but that can be overlooked. Also some people may find Cera annoying in some scenes but I tend to overlook that. Oh and if you haven't seen this movie and have only seen the sequels/clips of the sequels this movie is not a musical. Overall the land before time is one of my personal favorite movies and you should definitely watch it. See you next time where I answer the age old riddle "Why is stop motion so great".

REJECTED HORROR MOVIE NUMBER 3000: INVASION OF THE PINEAPPLES 

Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Good news I got my copy of Beneath the Planet of the Apes back from those aliens. It sure would be fun for me to tell you about it. But instead I'll just dive into the review. You should know there will be major spoilers for Planet of The Apes in this, so unless you have seen the first one you may not want to read this review. Well, lets see if the sequel can live up to my expectations. This is Beneath the Planet of the Apes.








We start with a recap of the first movie but when that ends we are introduced to a new character named Brent (James Francicus). Brent is an astronaut who was sent to look for Taylor (Charton Heston) but crash landed. Brent  runs into Nova (Linda Harrison) and Taylor's horse but not Taylor. Brent sees that Nova has Taylor's ID tag and tries to ask Nova if she knows where Taylor is. This causes Nova to have a flash back to Taylor investigating a strange mountain in the desert and disappearing into the mountain. But Nova can't talk, so Brent doesn't get much information. Nova leads Brent to the ape city where he watches Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) and a gorilla general named Ursus (James Gregory) arguing over whether or not to go investigate strange occurrences in the desert. Brent and Nova go to Zira (Kim Hunter) and Cornelius (David Watson).  They tell Brent about everything and give him some new clothes. But Brent gets captured and put in a cart to be taken to target practice as a target.

Brent finds a way to escape and runs off into the desert. He finds a cave that appears to be an abandoned New York subway station. Which means...he is on earth (dramatic music). Wait, wait...We already did this...you know, Charlton Heston shouting at The Statue of Liberty. It's not as big a reveal if you already know the twist. I mean, Brent even repeats the first half of the "You Maniacs Speech". But similarities aside, Brent goes around the subway station some more and he finds a tunnel that leads to the ruins of a library. Brent goes into the library where he finds some humans who have psychic powers of speaking by nodding their heads and making sonic shrieks. They say they are a peaceful race, so naturally they worship a giant nuclear missile...wait what? Brent and Nova go to a ceremony worshiping the missile mentioned earlier. During the ceremony the humans reveal that their faces are masks and that............they dipped their faces in guacamole? No they actually reveal that they are mutants, but they look like they dipped their faces in guacamole. After the ceremony Brent is put in a cell. Meanwhile the apes plan to take down the mutants.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

In the cell Brent meets Taylor (finally, I was wondering where he went) the jailer says he won't kill them because they are a peaceful race. So he just mind controls them to battle to the death....um...yay peace? But before anything else happens the apes led by Dr. Zaius and General Ursus break in and try to take over.  While the jailer is distracted by the apes, Brent and Taylror break out and get Nova. One of the Mutants tries to set off the missile but the apes stop him. Ursus, not knowing how dangerous the missile is, tries to destroy the missile. But Taylor saves the day by detonating the missile destroying all life on the planet. The End. Wow I can't believe it. This means there are no more sequels. What...there are more? How do they make more after that? Why just why? Whatever, let's just get to my final thoughts.

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

This is not a worthy follow up to Planet of the Apes. Every thing about this movie just copies the first one. For example, the scene where Brent is captured is very similar to when Taylor is captured in the first movie. Even Brent just seems to be a clone of Taylor. In fact, he was going to be played by Burt Reynolds until they realized that James Francicus looked like Charlton Heston. The whole thing about mutant humans with psychic powers seems a bit silly. But all the actors do give good performances and the signature ape make-up looks good on the main apes. As for the extra apes...yeah I could totally tell they wore ape masks. I think what would make this a good movie is more of Taylor, Zira, Zaius, and Cornelius. So if you are looking for a good follow up to Planet of the Apes, don't watch this movie. See you next time.

 IT'S NOT A CARTOON BUT HEY IT'S SOMETHING

Shorts Package: Aardman Shorts

I am back with a shorts package, this time it is Shorts from Aardman. If you don't know Aardman is the company responsible for Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run and other projects. But enough chit chat let's go.



Creature Comforts: In creature comforts several different animals in a zoo are interviewed and they share their opinion on living in a zoo. I think it is clever and if animals could talk that is probably what they would say. I do admit the audio quality is a bit bad but I can forgive it because of how funny it is. Also the short is so popular it apparently spawned a web series. Over all I think my favorite short is this one.









Wat's Pig: Two princes are seperated at birth; one becomes a greedy king and the other becomes a content farmer. The King's kingdom is being invaded and it turns out that The Farmer is in the army. I like it because it shows the contrast of their lives and the use of split screens. If there is something I didn't like it's that the reason that they get separated is a bit sudden and unexplained.







Not Without my Handbag: This one is probably the weirdest short here. The plot is a girl is living with her aunt. Her aunt doesn't keep up with the payments on her washing machine so her aunt is sent to hell. Wait it gets weirder; her aunt remembers that she left her handbag in the world of the living so she comes back from the dead to find it. Wait it gets weirder; a devil comes to reclaim her soul by possessing her handbag. I think I like this simply because of how weird it is. The animation in this seems a bit different than in others. I think they might have used wood puppets instead of clay ones.





Aardman is a great company and all these shorts are worth watching you can probably watch them on the internet or find them on DVD. You should also check out the Creature Comforts web series. Well see you next tine where I review Wreck-it Ralph. P.S. I hope design of my blog.

MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN

The NeverEnding Story

Hooray another classic fantasy kids movie from the 80's. The movie itself is based on a book by Micheal Ende. I never read the book but it was reported that he did not like the movie and he even had his name removed from the credits. But enough with that. Let's start.

We meet a boy named Bastian (Barret Oliver) whose father wants him to be more rooted in reality and for him to keep his head out of the clouds. A group of bullies chases Bastian into a book store where he sees a man named Mr. Coreander. Bastian becomes fascinated with the book he is reading called The NeverEnding Story. So when Mr. Coreander turns his back he steals it. But Mr. Coreandr doesn't call the cops because Bastian left a letter saying he would return it. Bastian gets to school but he is late and it is the day of a big test, so he hides in the attic and decides to read the book. We open with a camp of two people named Night Hob (Tilo Pruckner) and Teeny Weeny (Deep Roy). They get interrupted by a creature known as The Rockbiter (Alan Oppenheimer). The Rockbiter says a thing called The Nothing is destroying the land so he is going to The Ivory Tower to see if The Childlike Empress (Tami Stronach) can help. They make it to The Ivory Tower where the Empress lives. But the Empress's cone-headed servant tells everyone that the Empress is gravely sick and someone needs to find a cure. The prophesy says that a warrior named Atreyu (Noah Hathaway) must find a wise man named Morla in the swamp of sadness and ask them to find a cure.

Atreyu goes on his way to find Morla. But when he goes into the swamp of sadness his horse Artax starts to sink into it. Artax drowns in the swamp but Atreyu makes it to Morla who is a giant turtle. However Morla is not interested in saving the Empress or stopping the Nothing. So she just tells Atreyu that he must pass three trials to find an oracle that will tell him how to cure the Childlike Empress and stop the Nothing. But without Artax, he starts sinking in the Swamp of Sadness. Luckily something saves Atreyu. Atreyu wakes up and it turns out that what saved him was a luck dragon named Falkor (also Alan Oppenheimer) who took him to where the three trials are. He also meets a gnome named Engywook (Sydney Bromley) who tells Atreyu that only confident people can pass the first trial. So Atreyu walks between two statues and he tries to stay confident, but the statues zap him with lasers. Atreyu gets out of the way and continues to the next trial. The next trial is a mirror that shows whoever looks into it their true self.  When Atreyu looks into it he sees Bastian. This of course freaks Bastian out but he decides to keep reading. He finds the oracle and the oracle says that a human child must name The Childlike Empress.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

Falkor picks up Atreyu and tries to take him out of Fantasia to find a human child. But the Nothing comes and Atreyu falls off Falkor. Atryu finds a room foretelling his journey. He runs into a creature called the G'mork (also Alan Oppenheimer) who tells Atreyu that the nothing can't be stopped because The Nothing is pure dying imagination. The nothing finally catches up with him, and Atreyu finds himself riding on Falkor's back through what is left of Fantasia. They find the ruins of the Ivory Tower where the Childlike Empress tells Atreyu that the child that needs to name her is Bastian. So Bastian runs out to a window where he shouts the Empress's name "MOOSINKNED!". No he actually said Moonchild if you listen closely or actually read the book or just do what I did and look it up on the internet. That is what he can be heard shouting. So the world of Fantasia is saved and Bastian now has the power to wish for whatever he wants. So first he wishes that the Nothing never happened. Then he wishes that he could get revenge on some bullies at school by chasing them with Falkor. The Beginning.

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

The NeverEnding Story in my opinion is one of the best fantasy movies ever. It has a complex story and some real dilemmas and drama. Another thing I like about it is the effects. I think it is sort of like if the movie Labyrinth did less of the Muppet look and tried to look a bit more realistic. Not too realistic like in Lord of the Rings, but just right in between. I think the best characters in this film are Falkor and The Rockbiter. Oddly enough The Rockbiter actually has very little screen time, just a scene at the beginning and a scene at the end. Just goes to show you, characters don't have to be there long to be memorable or leave an impact. However I do think that Noah Hathaway does scream his lines a bit too much. So in all I think that The NeverEnding Story is another fantasy movie that you should check out. And have you heard the theme song, it is awesome. See you later.

ARTISTS RENDERING OF THE "HUMPTY DUMPTY" INSEDENT

I draw this when I was 7

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T

So in my last review I said I would review a Dr. Suess movie. Now instead of reviewing an adaptation of one of his books I will be reviewing an original movie that Suess actually wrote. This should be a very interesting review. Oh and before I start I want to let you know that I was busy this week and ran out of time for a cartoon. Now it's time to start.










We open with a boy name Bart Colins (Tommy Rettig) practicing the piano for his teacher Dr. Terwilliker (Hans Conried). Bart tells the audience about his like his mother (Mary Healy) and his nice friend the plumber August Zablowdowski (Peter Lind Hayes). But while practicing he falls asleep at the piano and starts dreaming. Bart dreams that he is playing a giant piano for Dr. Tiddlywinks and that Dr.  Tootles  is also setting up a piano a academy and i the morning he will have 500 students. Bart runs into August and he tells Bart that his mother is at the academy and his mother is second in command. So Bart goes to see his mom but Dr. Teletubbies finds out that Bart isn't in his cell so he sends out some guard to chase him. He escapes them an tells August about it. So August goes up to check on Barts mother.



August goes to see Dr. Tum-tum but he thinks that Dr. Telephone seems like a normal guy. I mean I know so many people who shovel money into vaults, offer their guest vintage pickle juice, and randomly break out into song and dance. So thinking that Dr. Tootsie-roll is a normal guy he and Bart head back but Bart wants to convince him. So Bart breaks into Dr. Turtles vault and find a execution order for August. But before he shows it to August he falls into a dungeon of musicians. The musicians go on to do a musical number that I think would look cool in a drawing or cartoon but looks kind of weird in live action. After that weird musical number we makes it to August and tells him that Dr. Tubular wants him dead. So when August finds out they both decide to get Barts mom and than try to get out of this madhouse.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

They break out Barts mom but as they start too leave Dr. Television comes in and sends them all to the dungeon. While in the cell they come up with a plan. August takes some sort of a weird product that can suck up bad smells from the air. So Bart wants to modify it so that it will suck up noises so that the first recital will not go well and so that it will give him a chance take down Dr. Termites. When the music thing is read and Bart is being lead to the concert August warns Bart that the music thing is very atomic. Meanwhile Dr. Terminus sings a song about...... well just click here, If you didn't see the video basically he puts on one of the most ridiculous outfits in movie history. Dr. Tug boat comes out and tells all the students at the academy to start playing the song. Bart activares the music thing and this gives the kids a chance to take down Dr. Twilight Zone. But than Bart wakes up and it was all just a  dream....right? The End.

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

The 500 Fingers of Dr. T is a interesting movie. The sets and costume are very Dr. Suess like and I can see that they have a lot of work put into them, Sometimes I thought it became a bit too weird even for Dr. Suess. Some scenes had a goofy feel too it but maybe a bit too goofy for example look at that picture of Dr. Trumpet up there. I think what would of made this film 5,000 times better I mean think about in the live action The Cat in the Hat The Cat looks freaky and weird because the drawings of Dr. Suess don't exactly Translate well into live action. In fact I don't mean to sound like a conspiracy nut, but I half of me thinks that it was originally supposed to be animated. Well that's all I have to say about this movie I don't love it but I don't hate it either. So you will either be confused by it's style laugh at it's style or be amazed by it's style. Se you next time.

Home on the Range

Well it has been a while since I reviewed a move I really didn't like. So what better bad film to review than Disney's worst animated movie: Home on the Range (evil laughter). Let's go.

We start by meeting a cow named Maggie (Rosanne Barr) who lost her farm to a cattle rustler named Alameda Slim (Randy Quaid). So she is being sold to a farm called Patch of Heaven. On the farm she meets a cow named Miss. Caloway (Judi Dench) and another cow named Grace (Jennifer Tilly). Grace is tone deaf; remember this because it will be mildly important later. So as it turns out Patch of Heaven is going out of business and will be sold if the owner Pearl (Carole Cook) can't get $750 in three days. On hearing this news that the farm will close Maggie, Grace, and Miss. Caloway go into town and try to find a some money. They mistake a sheriff's office for a saloon. However a bounty hunter named Rico (Charles Dennis) comes into town looking for the cattle rustler Alameda Slim. As it so coincidentally turns out, his reward is $750. So Rico picks out a local horse named Buck (Cuba Goodling Jr.) as his partner and the cows get the idea to try and catch Slim.

So they sneak into a cattle drive but when everything seems normal Alameda Slim shows up. Alameda than goes on to sing a song that hypnotizes the cows. This song is so bad and weird I already mention it on two separate top ten lists. Fortunately Grace is tone deaf so she isn't hypnotized and she is able to save Maggie and Miss. Caloway (see it was mildly important). So Buck goes off to find Alameda on his own and the cows end up in the desert. It starts to flood so they have to rest for the night but Maggie and Miss. Caloway decide to go their separate ways in the morning. In the morning they meet a jackrabbit named Lucky (Charles Haid) who says he can take them to where Alameda lives. So they come up with a plan to catch Alameda.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

They find the mine that Alameda is hiding in where he plans to sell a bunch of cattle to his buyer Mr. Wesley (Steve Buscemi). So once they sneak in they use a bit of Lucky's tail to stuff their ears so they won't hear Alameda's hypnotic yodeling (why did that sound less weird in my head). The plan works and they knock him out and put him in a mine cart. But Buck breaks in and tries to take Alameda away. So it is a mad dash to catch Alameda. But in the end Alameda wakes up but fortunately Rico shows up but unfortunately it turns out that he was working for Alameda the whole time. So Alameda heads off to buy Patch of Heaven, and strands the cows. But they come up with the plan to drive a train and...wait earlier the cows couldn't read and mixed up a saloon with a sheriffs office and now they know how to operate a train how does that work? Whatever....the cows, Buck, and Lucky make it to the farm and defeat Alameda by karate kicking....stop...stop when did they know how to a karate kick when did the movie even imply that....I don't care anymore. So the farm is saved and Alameda is in jail. The End.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

This is quite possibly the worst animated Disney movie period, exclamation mark, semi colon. The jokes in this film are not funny and below the type of humor in other Disney films, I mean there are like one or two funny lines but still I hardly laughed. The villain song in this movie is so bad that I actually had to use a mathematical equation to understand it, and even then it didn't make sense. Even the animation doesn't feel right everything from the character design to the movement to the background felt like more of a Tom and Jerry cartoon than a Disney movie. The animation looks like it was for more of a kids movie than a movie for both kids and adults. I mean if you compare the animation to something like 101 Dalmatians or The Little Mermaid it just seems a bit cartoonish. This has officially been the worst animated movie I have ever seen. Well thank you next time I will review another Dr, Suess movie.

BIG BOBBY

Top Ten Cartoon Duos

Hello it is time for another top ten list and this time I will be listing my personal favorite cartoon duos. The only rule is that it has to be a duo from a cartoon TV show I have seen. If your favorite cartoon duo isn't on here it's probably because I haven't seen the show. Also I didn't find links or animated pictures for numbers 10 and 3. So now that that is out of the way let's start.

10 Mindy and Buttons from Animaniacs

Mindy is a little girl and Buttons is her faithful pet dog. Mindy always wanders off into dangerous situations but  Buttons always helps her out. Now I know this set up has been done a lot but what makes this different is that Buttons is so loyal and Mindy is just so adorable.









9 Scooby Doo and Shaggy from Scooby Doo

Another human dog duo only instead of saving each other they always run away. They are a perfect match; all they like to do is eat and burn off the energy by running away from people in ghoul costumes. On to the next number.

8 Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls

I already reviewed this show and mentioned the characters but let me refresh you, Dipper and Mabel are twin brother and sister; together they solve many mysteries. They are really good at bouncing comedy off each other.













7 The Pink Panther and The Little Man from The Pink Panther

The Little Man isn't always the Pink Panthers friend, in fact more often than not he is his enemy and even when they are friends they hate each other. Also in some of the episodes the Little Man doesn't know that the Pink Panther is around.







6  Wile E Coyote and Roadrunner from Looney Tunes


Another duo from the Looney Tunes: they spend most of their days chasing after each other. Both of these characters are very likable because you want Wile E to win but you also don't want the Roadrunner to get eaten.












5 Pinky and The Brain from Pinky and The Brain

Pinky and the Brain: one is a genius and the other is insane. Basically Brain tries to take over the wold but either a flaw in Brain's plan or Pinky's bumbling antics screw things up. It's the classic dumb guy smart guy routine just with a bit more world domination.











4 Finn and Jake from Adventure Time

 Like Gravity Falls this duo is from a slightly newer cartoon than the rest but I still think It is a good duo. Jake is a dog who appears to be made out of modeling clay and Finn is a human; together they all go on amazing adventures. A good part of this duo is their friendship, you really do feel like they are friends.










3 Batman and Robbin from Batman the Animated Series

I know they are technically a comic book duo but there have been several animated batman cartoons so I think it counts. Unlike the other duos on this list they actually aren't a comic duo; they are more of a serious duo that fights crime. But like Finn and Jake they are friends and the friendship feels real.










2 Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes

Unlike the last one Daffy and Bugs are full time enemies and it so fun in how much they hate each other. I don't think I have seen a single cartoon where they are remotely friends.

1 Tom and Jerry From Tom and Jerry

The original cat and mouse duo. Whether Jerry is defending a bird or Tom's musical number is disturbing Jerry's sleep, they always get in a fight. Another thing about this duo is that they never talk and when they do it is always cartoonishly over the top. All I have to say is Tom and Jerry is the best cartoon duo ever.







Well that was my list. I hope you like it and I'm sorry if I didn't include your favorite duo on this list. Now if you excuse me I have some business cards to order.