Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Good news I got my copy of Beneath the Planet of the Apes back from those aliens. It sure would be fun for me to tell you about it. But instead I'll just dive into the review. You should know there will be major spoilers for Planet of The Apes in this, so unless you have seen the first one you may not want to read this review. Well, lets see if the sequel can live up to my expectations. This is Beneath the Planet of the Apes.








We start with a recap of the first movie but when that ends we are introduced to a new character named Brent (James Francicus). Brent is an astronaut who was sent to look for Taylor (Charton Heston) but crash landed. Brent  runs into Nova (Linda Harrison) and Taylor's horse but not Taylor. Brent sees that Nova has Taylor's ID tag and tries to ask Nova if she knows where Taylor is. This causes Nova to have a flash back to Taylor investigating a strange mountain in the desert and disappearing into the mountain. But Nova can't talk, so Brent doesn't get much information. Nova leads Brent to the ape city where he watches Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) and a gorilla general named Ursus (James Gregory) arguing over whether or not to go investigate strange occurrences in the desert. Brent and Nova go to Zira (Kim Hunter) and Cornelius (David Watson).  They tell Brent about everything and give him some new clothes. But Brent gets captured and put in a cart to be taken to target practice as a target.

Brent finds a way to escape and runs off into the desert. He finds a cave that appears to be an abandoned New York subway station. Which means...he is on earth (dramatic music). Wait, wait...We already did this...you know, Charlton Heston shouting at The Statue of Liberty. It's not as big a reveal if you already know the twist. I mean, Brent even repeats the first half of the "You Maniacs Speech". But similarities aside, Brent goes around the subway station some more and he finds a tunnel that leads to the ruins of a library. Brent goes into the library where he finds some humans who have psychic powers of speaking by nodding their heads and making sonic shrieks. They say they are a peaceful race, so naturally they worship a giant nuclear missile...wait what? Brent and Nova go to a ceremony worshiping the missile mentioned earlier. During the ceremony the humans reveal that their faces are masks and that............they dipped their faces in guacamole? No they actually reveal that they are mutants, but they look like they dipped their faces in guacamole. After the ceremony Brent is put in a cell. Meanwhile the apes plan to take down the mutants.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

In the cell Brent meets Taylor (finally, I was wondering where he went) the jailer says he won't kill them because they are a peaceful race. So he just mind controls them to battle to the death....um...yay peace? But before anything else happens the apes led by Dr. Zaius and General Ursus break in and try to take over.  While the jailer is distracted by the apes, Brent and Taylror break out and get Nova. One of the Mutants tries to set off the missile but the apes stop him. Ursus, not knowing how dangerous the missile is, tries to destroy the missile. But Taylor saves the day by detonating the missile destroying all life on the planet. The End. Wow I can't believe it. This means there are no more sequels. What...there are more? How do they make more after that? Why just why? Whatever, let's just get to my final thoughts.

***SPOILERS OVER KEEP READING***

This is not a worthy follow up to Planet of the Apes. Every thing about this movie just copies the first one. For example, the scene where Brent is captured is very similar to when Taylor is captured in the first movie. Even Brent just seems to be a clone of Taylor. In fact, he was going to be played by Burt Reynolds until they realized that James Francicus looked like Charlton Heston. The whole thing about mutant humans with psychic powers seems a bit silly. But all the actors do give good performances and the signature ape make-up looks good on the main apes. As for the extra apes...yeah I could totally tell they wore ape masks. I think what would make this a good movie is more of Taylor, Zira, Zaius, and Cornelius. So if you are looking for a good follow up to Planet of the Apes, don't watch this movie. See you next time.

 IT'S NOT A CARTOON BUT HEY IT'S SOMETHING