Home on the Range

Well it has been a while since I reviewed a move I really didn't like. So what better bad film to review than Disney's worst animated movie: Home on the Range (evil laughter). Let's go.

We start by meeting a cow named Maggie (Rosanne Barr) who lost her farm to a cattle rustler named Alameda Slim (Randy Quaid). So she is being sold to a farm called Patch of Heaven. On the farm she meets a cow named Miss. Caloway (Judi Dench) and another cow named Grace (Jennifer Tilly). Grace is tone deaf; remember this because it will be mildly important later. So as it turns out Patch of Heaven is going out of business and will be sold if the owner Pearl (Carole Cook) can't get $750 in three days. On hearing this news that the farm will close Maggie, Grace, and Miss. Caloway go into town and try to find a some money. They mistake a sheriff's office for a saloon. However a bounty hunter named Rico (Charles Dennis) comes into town looking for the cattle rustler Alameda Slim. As it so coincidentally turns out, his reward is $750. So Rico picks out a local horse named Buck (Cuba Goodling Jr.) as his partner and the cows get the idea to try and catch Slim.

So they sneak into a cattle drive but when everything seems normal Alameda Slim shows up. Alameda than goes on to sing a song that hypnotizes the cows. This song is so bad and weird I already mention it on two separate top ten lists. Fortunately Grace is tone deaf so she isn't hypnotized and she is able to save Maggie and Miss. Caloway (see it was mildly important). So Buck goes off to find Alameda on his own and the cows end up in the desert. It starts to flood so they have to rest for the night but Maggie and Miss. Caloway decide to go their separate ways in the morning. In the morning they meet a jackrabbit named Lucky (Charles Haid) who says he can take them to where Alameda lives. So they come up with a plan to catch Alameda.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

They find the mine that Alameda is hiding in where he plans to sell a bunch of cattle to his buyer Mr. Wesley (Steve Buscemi). So once they sneak in they use a bit of Lucky's tail to stuff their ears so they won't hear Alameda's hypnotic yodeling (why did that sound less weird in my head). The plan works and they knock him out and put him in a mine cart. But Buck breaks in and tries to take Alameda away. So it is a mad dash to catch Alameda. But in the end Alameda wakes up but fortunately Rico shows up but unfortunately it turns out that he was working for Alameda the whole time. So Alameda heads off to buy Patch of Heaven, and strands the cows. But they come up with the plan to drive a train and...wait earlier the cows couldn't read and mixed up a saloon with a sheriffs office and now they know how to operate a train how does that work? Whatever....the cows, Buck, and Lucky make it to the farm and defeat Alameda by karate kicking....stop...stop when did they know how to a karate kick when did the movie even imply that....I don't care anymore. So the farm is saved and Alameda is in jail. The End.

***SPOILER ALERT STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT THE END RUINED***

This is quite possibly the worst animated Disney movie period, exclamation mark, semi colon. The jokes in this film are not funny and below the type of humor in other Disney films, I mean there are like one or two funny lines but still I hardly laughed. The villain song in this movie is so bad that I actually had to use a mathematical equation to understand it, and even then it didn't make sense. Even the animation doesn't feel right everything from the character design to the movement to the background felt like more of a Tom and Jerry cartoon than a Disney movie. The animation looks like it was for more of a kids movie than a movie for both kids and adults. I mean if you compare the animation to something like 101 Dalmatians or The Little Mermaid it just seems a bit cartoonish. This has officially been the worst animated movie I have ever seen. Well thank you next time I will review another Dr, Suess movie.

BIG BOBBY